Manti Te’o’s E-Harmony Ad

The Deuce’s last word on Manti Te’o comes from Funny or Die unless The Samoans, Greg Louganis or The Rock are part of this conspiracy. No way we let that pass without comment.

Manti Te'o's EHarmony Ad – watch more funny videos

I wanted to include The Jets but apparently they’re from Tonga, the off-brand Samoa.

The Matador’s BCS National Championship Favorites

The Matador can’t help but feel sorry for folks like Mr. Walker. So if you are reading this ‘Tione, go to Reno before your arraignment, sign some of those fake checks and place some money on the 2010 BCS National Championship game futures. If you go to jail, by the time you get out, you will have a little next egg.

Now, the favored to win the 2010 BCS National Championship Game is Florida at 2/1. It’s a solid bet, but before you jump on the Gator bandwagon, consider these other teams:

Texas (8/1): The Longhorns will have a potent offense and will simply win by outscoring their opponents. To be a solid contender, the defense must step up their play and pray opposing offenses have bad days.

Oklahoma (6/1): Oklahoma has a strong Heisman Trophy winner QB, two 1000 yard rushers in the backfield, two players with hands in TE Jermain Gresham and WR Ryan Broyles, but with all that talent, the Sooners have questions as to who will block for them since the O line is young, inexperienced, and untested. The defense returns 9 and showed signs of great improvement towards the end of the season and even held Florida below their scoring average.

Ohio State (11/1) & Penn State (35/1): The Big 10 hasn’t been getting much respect these days, but if any of these two teams go undefeated, the winner will be in the BCS National Championship game. I’m leaning towards Penn State simply because their schedule is fairly weak and they play Ohio State at home. JoePa could end the season with the championship trophy in hand.

Notre Dame (25/1): It pains me to say this, but ND is returning a very strong and seasoned offense. Weis will finally get his team back to where ND should be. This team has the schedule to go far. If they can upset USC, there will be BCS and possibly National Championship talk brewing in South Bend.

USC (7/1): It is inevitable USC will lose one game in the regular season. They have seven consecutive Pac 10 titles yet have only one BCS Title during that span. Either the team is overrated or they don’t get the respect they deserve. Anyway, with a new QB in Aaron Corp and an untested defense, this will certainly be an uphill battle.

Notre Dame And Charlie Weis Deserve Each Other More Than Ever

Don’t act like a small (or large) part of you didn’t smile or nod with approval when Charlie Weis was dropped like a sack of potatoes during the Michigan-Notre Dame game. Let’s relive one of the few Michigan highlights from their wonderfully expensive failure of a season.

Perhaps some of you simply enjoy seeing horrific injuries and people in pain. Most of you probably harbor some sense that Weis is a douchebag and he had it coming. Everyone’s a big winner today. It’s official. He excels at being an asshole.

When [Jeannette Coach Ray] Reitz told Weis that [Terrelle] Pryor might attend a USC quarterbacks camp, he remembers Weis replying: “Why send him there? If he’s with me for one day he’ll be good, two days he’ll be great and three days he’ll be incredible.”

Later, unprompted, Weis asked the Jeannette coaches if they wanted to take a picture of his Super Bowl ring. “I did it, just to be polite, and then gave [the picture] to one of the kids,” Reitz recalled.

…”Here’s the best part,” Reitz recalled. “He says to Terrelle: ‘Call me tomorrow at 6. I’ll be watching where Brady Quinn gets drafted.’ “

Pryor never called. He chose Ohio State.

Weis is so good at being a jackass that former players and alums remember Gerry Faust with fondness when compared to him because “he was a nice guy”.

Weis celebrated barely beating Navy on Saturday as though he won the Fiesta Bowl. Congratulations on making a bowl. If that’s all Notre Dame wanted, mission accomplished. As pointed out by Teddy Greenstein and numerous others, Weis’ best season was with Tyrone Willingham’s players and their records are comparable. His players are nothing special and there’s no reason to think there will be significant improvement next season.

Notre Dame has no one to blame but itself for the sham that is the Charlie Weis era so far. He received an absurd contract extension without the results to back it up. It couldn’t wait to bend over for him and now it would look stupid canning him especially after George O’Leary and Willingham who most agree was given the shaft. Make no mistake. The school isn’t getting rid of Weis due to the contract despite what they say. Let’s not even talk about the money they would owe him.

Notre Dame fell for the three Super Bowl ring monte and Terrelle Pryor didn’t. That tells you everything you need to know about Notre Dame football. At this rate, even hoodlums and thugs wouldn’t play for Weis. So far his tenure is failure for a program as storied as Notre Dame and it couldn’t have happened to a more deserving person.

Who’s Who in the CFL?

We sometimes forget that there is a haven for failed NFL players up north. The CFL is a place for those who wish to play competitive football that is not the bastard Arena Football League hybrid…instead its a bastard outdoor league hybrid. I mean, 3 downs? WTF??? But I digress, lets take a look at some people you may or may not remember that were once college greats but NFL busts, that are actually thriving in the Canadian Football League:

Jarrett Payton –
College: University of Miami
Best Known For: Being Walter Payton’s son
Career Highlight: Being on the World Bowl XIII Champion Amsterdam Admirals
Undistinguished NFL Career: Finished the 2005 NFL season with the Tennessee Titans having 33 carries for 105 yards and 2 touchdowns. Released the next season.
Where is He Now: The Montreal Alouettes. Currently 5th in the league in rushing with 822 yards, averaging 5.3 a carry, and 9 TDs (1 receiving)

Michael Bishop –
College: Kansas State
Best Known For: Being the first cousin of actor/comedian/singer Jamie Foxx and finishing 2nd to Ricky Williams (another CFL alum) in the 1998 Heisman Trophy Award.
Career Highlight: Starting all 25 games in his K-State career and holds the school career records with 23 rushing touchdowns and 1,314 yards rushing for quarterbacks (11th overall).
Undistinguished NFL Career: Signed with the Patriots in 1999, saw first action in 2000 and only threw nine times with three completions, one of which being a 44 yard hailmary pass. Out of the league by 2001.
Where is He Now: Toronto Argonauts. Currently the Argonauts starting QB and 6th best quarterback in the CFL, Bishop has an 87.1 QB rating with 2409 yards and 18 TDs. Bishop has also run for 219 yards on 33 carries.

Robert Edwards –
College: University of Georgia
Best Known For: Blowing out his knee at a NFL rookie flag football game at the All Star game in Hawaii, barely escaping the injury without having his leg amputated below the knee, and told he may not walk again.
Career Highlight: After being drafted in the 1st round, Edwards ran for 1,115 yards as a rookie with the New England Patriots in the 1998 season.
Undistinguished NFL Career: After ruining his knee, Edwards took 4 years to come back to the league, where he was only relegated to 3rd down duties for just one season with the Miami Dolphins.
Where is He Now: Toronto Argonauts. Edwards is eighth in the league in rushing with 668 yards and 3 touchdowns, averaging 4.5 yards per carry.

Terrence Edwards –
College: University of Georgia
Best Known For: Being the brother of Robert Edwards.
Career Highlight: Setting the SEC receiving yardage total record and is second all-time in receptions in the conference.
Undistinguished NFL Career: Active for 6 games with the Atlanta Falcons during the 2003 season…has 1 NFL catch for 10 yards.
Where is He Now: Winnipeg Blue Bombers. Number one in the CFL for receving with 724 receptions, 1241 yards, and 9 TDs.

Ken Yon Rambo –
College: Ohio State University
Best Known For: Finishing eighth on OSU’s all-time reception list with 106 career catches and seventh in receiving yards with 1,849. Also for setting a school record with a 22.9-yard average on 64 kick-off returns.
Career Highlight: Um see above? Methinks Rambo peaked a little too soon.
Undistinguished NFL Career: In 2 years with the Dallas Cowboys (2001-02) Rambo’s total stats were 17 receptions for 239 yards.
Where is He Now: Calgary Stampeders. 14th in the CFL for receiving with 54 catches for 831 yards.

Jarious Jackson –
College: Notre Dame
Best Known For: Setting Notre Dame single-season records for passing yards (2,753, breaking Joe Theisman’s record), completions (184), and attempts (316).
Career Highlight: Took Notre Dame to the 2000 Fiesta Bowl 1999 Gator Bowl…the highlight ended there, Notre Dame lost 41-9 to Oregon State 35-28 to Georgia Tech. Took the Barcelona Dragons’s to World Bowl IX…they lost to the Berlin Thunder 24-17.
Undistinguished NFL Career: Drafted in the 7th round by the Broncos, Jackson had a 4 year career with Denver with just 5 games played, completing 11 of 22 passes for 114 yards.
Where is He Now: British Columbia Lions. 7th best QB in the league with a rating of 84.1 with 2248 yards and 53% completions. He is also 13th in rushing with 254 yards.

Others you may remember: Tay Cody (Florida State & San Diego Chargers); Anthony Davis (Wisconsin and Indianapolis Colts); Timmy Chang (Hawaii); Jamaica Jackson (South Carolina); Zeke Moreno (Southern Cal. & San Diego Chargers); Ike Charlton (Va Tech & Seattle Seahawks); Kliff Kingsbury (Texas Tech & various NFL teams)

CFL Stats provided by The Sports Network