One of the Saddest Videos Ever

And by sad, i mean funny. This poor fat kid is stuck inside a bowl in a skate park. It takes this chubby lad 4 whole gripping and intense minutes of struggle and sacrifice and finally, through the bonds of undying friendship, this young boy with a belly full of jelly gets out. Well maybe not undying friendship, maybe just some other kids that actually want to skate in the bowl. WTF was this kid doing down there in the first place? Is there a heavyweight division of skateboarding I didn’t know about? Its like a baby stuck in a well for the X generation.

Fat Kid Stuck in a Skating Bowl – Watch more Funny Videos

The Greatest Skateboard Evarrrr

The Scarpar is a creation of some insane aussies who thought that sticking some tank like treads on a skateboard and hooking a motor up to it would be awesome. Well, turns out, they were right and it is pretty damn awesome. This thing can go anywhere except on water, well liquid water that is, not the frozen stuff. Off road, on road, hills, logs, snow, its your freakin skateboard for the next generation. It is…dare we say it…EXTREME SKATEBOARDING! Or somethin. Here’s some video if it in action. Watch it…IF YOU CAN HANDLE IT. ARRRRRGH!

Random Video of Horrific Violence: Roof Skating Not A Good Idea

Much thanks Blaze

I Don’t Know Jake Brown But You Are No Jake Brown

You might remember skateboarder Danny Way from jumping the Great Wall of China. He tried to do a Big Air impression of Jake Brown at this year’s X Games. You might remember Mr. Brown from last year’s X Games where he tried to show off by blowing his shoes off his feet after falling four stories.

Fail.

The announcers talked about having the “best medical staff in the business” after Brown’s fall. However in his and Way’s cases, the staff walked them off the ramp. My name means doctor so I know a little bit about this. That just doesn’t seem right. The extent of their injuries are unknown at the time so why would they risk further injury by making them walk it off? The medics were probably in the locker rooms rubbing ‘Tussin all over their wounds and talking about windows to weight gain.

What’s with rubbing his chest? Talk about taking advantage of someone when they’re vulnerable. “This is my chance, dude. I gotta take it.”

Brown ended up with liver and lung bruising, vertebrae stress fractures and a fractured hand. Way managed to escape with ligament damage in his right knee, ankle and shoulder in addition to abrasions. Damn lucky considering how both could have turned out.

Random Video of Horrific Violence: Pole Crotch

Nothing starts a day off like a good shot to the balls. Its timeless really.

New Sport: Free Boarding

Snowboards on wheels, going down urban “mountains”…in other words, skateboarding down big hills. Pretentious “indie” free boarders think this is the next wave of skateboarding. Watch and yell at the monitor like I did at these d-bags.

From Brightcove

The “What The Hell, I Can’t Get More Fucked Up!” Games

The eXtremity Games are to be held July 18th – 21st in lovely Orlando, Florida and the Deuce could not be more excited to watch a bunch of people already missing limbs to be participating in Xtreme sports. I mean, there will no longer be that awkward period of silence that occurs when a skateboarder lands his 50-50 grind badly thereby fracturing his leg in several places because, well, he won’t have a friggin leg anyway! That was a fake leg! HAHAHAHA! We can all laugh about it and move on!

The events at this year’s eXtremity Games are:

BMX and Mountain Biking
Kayaking
Moto-X
Rock Climbing
Skateboarding
Surfing
Wakeboarding

All events have prize pools of $1,500, $750, $250 for 1st, 2nd, and 3rd place, but these are awarded only to the most difficult of divisions…the rest are shit out of luck and get one of the equivocal “non cash prizes”. Lets hope it is new limbs for the guy that fucks up his Backflip One-Handed Nac-Nac during Moto-X ’cause lemme tell ya, he’s gonna need it.

Altogether, the Deuce supports giving crips gimps handicapped “handicapable” people their own eXtreme games and events. Seriously, everyone else has them, why the hell can’t they? It really cannot be worse than National eXtreme Baseball.

Link to the eXtremity Games

Tony Hawk on Captain Kangaroo

Sometimes we forget how old Tony Hawk is, dude is almost 40 years old, but he has been boarding since he was a wee lad. See for yourself, check out this Tony Hawk video from 1981 skateboarding to some whacked out Irish ditty sung by the Cap’n himself…how drunk was the Cap’n this morning by the way? Dude was singing Irish drinking songs about skateboarding, having a full conversation with a moose and a skateboarding bunny rabbit circles in front of him and he doesn’t flinch? Yet another reason Captain Kangaroo is my hero.

Protect Ya Neck

Wu-Wear better jump on this. Security clothing company Bladerunner Kevlar Protection and artist Dr. Zulu have collaborated to come out with a stylish Kevlar, knife resistant hoodie. That image you see on the hoodie is actually the chemical compound for Kevlar all over it.

This is obviously for the skater who likes to skate in TEH MOST X-TREME neighborhoods. EXTREME TO THE MAX!

Head nod to SlamXHype